worried again..

today, we had our student council discussion.. the problem now is we have to many members in our group.. and so we have to cut down the number of members.. i can tell u.. it's a very hard task..

finally, we have a list of members.. 'semi-confirmed'.. now, is the toughest thing to do.. how to inform those members that they arent in our party anymore??

and guess what.. the 'cruel' darren(haha..) asked me to inform one of my friends.. quite close with her though.. how?? as in how to tell her??

"sorry, u are not in our group anymore.. because...."????

i really cant do that.. and he asked me to talk one-to-one to her.. oh.. i really cant.. sorry..

these words just cant come out from my mouth.. really sorry.. ya i know.. i should change now.. it's time for me to learn to be tougher..

finally, my friend, justine helped me.. she talked to her.. really feel sorry but yet thankful to justine.. hehe.. or else i really dunno how to face this situation..

actually, im quite worried.. it's like we havent even start our campiagns and everything, the conflicts have began.. oh.. and tmr is our first official meeting.. hopefully everything goes well..

lastly, i did very badly in my calculus test today.. i just answered 5 out of 10 questions.. oh.. in other words, confirmed that 5% gone edi..

finale chap of my driving test..

finally, i PASSED my driving test!!!! gonna get my p-license by this wed or thurs according to my instructor.. vohoo.. hehe..

driving..

another post about my driving test.. hehe.. sorry to make u guys bored man hehe..

today, a new instructor taught me for my last lesson.. oh.. i can tell u that he is much more better than my previous instructor.. he really uses his 'heart' to teach.. unlike my previous one..

and guess what.. he told me i used a very risky way to do my parking.. not my fault right?? this is what my previous instructor had taught me.. (anyway, he didnt blame me.. another cikgu.. i think he is the boss even called my previous instructor and questioned him.. asked him why he taught me that way..)

tmr is my test edi.. but i still kept on knocking onto the bump(by using the so called wrong way to park)..

so, the new instructor decided to teach me another way to do the parking.. he was so worried about my test tmr.. haha..

at the end, a total of two instructors taught me together today haha.. maybe im too lousy.. other ppl just have one but i have two..

the new instructor is so good.. he added extra one hour for me today.. which im pretty sure my previous instructor wont do that.. and he really taught me a lot of things that i dunno..

however, i just did the parking twice using the new method.. really have no confidence to pass tmr.. furthermore, the bukit, three-point turn, on the road.. all also not really perfect.. hehe..

anyway, ALL THE BEST to me tmr and my friend who is goin to take his test on tuesday.. hehe..

21.2.2009

today, my dad decided to bring us to a western restaurant- 'JAKE'S CHARBROIL STEAK' for dinner.. actually we wanted to go there long ago but because of the price.. we were always reluctant to go.. but, today, my dad says since he will be goin to Oman soon so he brought us there..

as we expected, it's quite expensive.. 4 persons about rm300++..

after dinner we went home.. and my dad came into my room and talked to me.. about half an hour..

he says, the reasons why he decided to go Oman.. besides for our education, he also wanted to have a honey moon with my mum.. (today, only i knew that they didnt have their honey moon after they married due to some economy probs last time) and my dad is very regret about it..

besides, he told me actually he knew that my mum cried silently almost every night since he decided to go Oman.. this is because this period will be the longest period that they will be staying apart from each other since the day they know each other approximately 25 years ago..

then, my dad also told me some of his experience in life last time.. actually my grandma told me before(but my dad didnt know) about what my dad had overcome when he was young.. (it's not good to mention it here).. what i can conclude about that is he did not get much love from my grandpa.. then during teenager age, he had to earn a living for his family edi.. and in US, he has to earn a living for his studies as well.. and now, he is edi 45 years old.. he still have to worry about his children's education, try to give his best to us..

he really gains my salutation..

i dunno how he knows that im very worried about my spm results nowadays(or maybe he is just guessing).. he told me not to worry so much about my results.. what is over, jsut leave it in the past.. however, the more he asked me not to worry, the more i worry..

he also advised me not to be so lembik anymore.. always get bullied by ppl.. for example, once, i told him that my friend who fetches me to school smokes.. he asked me to tell them at least not to smoke when there is passenger in the car.. but til now, i still dont have the guts to tell my friend.. i really have to learn..

that's the few things i remembered about our talk..

nowadays, i really have no one to talk to.. i have not much time to talk on the phone with my friends.. thus the only place i can pour out my feelings is my blog..

unprepared..

i'll be having my driving test next MONDAY..

im totally unprepared..
i really have no confidence to pass u know..

i just practised on the road for 1 hour only.. and furthermore, im fear of CARS..

ppl usually prac at home.. but i dont think any of my family members dare to teach me anymore.. as the last two times, i nearly get into ACCIDENTS..

everybody says it's very easy to pass.. but i dont think so.. i really cannot control my hands and legs when im nervous..

tell u what..

everytime during the driving prac, when i feel that i was doin quite well, then i'll tell myself..

"imagine the next time is my driving test..' 'calm down.. just do the same thing as what i have done just now..'

then the next time, i 75% would have some mistakes..

what to do???? teach me........

engr test..

had my engineering test today.. oh.. it's so difficult.. the whole paper is 100 marks.. i think i'll just get around 40-50 marks.. hopefully wont be worse than that.. passing mark is 70.. so i dont think i have the chance to pass in this test..

samantha, work harder pleaseeeee.......

sardine day..

oh.. can u imagine?? 6 persons in a KANCIL..

today, as usual my friend fetched me to school.. 4 of us sat in the kancil.. ok.. still alright..

then, after class, he said 2 of his friends were goin to follow his car also.. oh gosh.. it's like 6 persons in a KANCIL!!!! moreover, all boys except me(who has a boy size too hehe..)..

thus, my friend had to off his air- cond while driving because the KANCIL cannot move..

today.. besides human, i became a sardine too.. what a great experience.. haha..

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

this is a happy post.. hehe..

actually we went to pyramid for a while just now before we decided to go to ss2..

wow.. i saw a wedding dinner going to be held at pyramid ice skating there..

ohh.. it's so romantic.. wedding on the ice..

is it possible that i'll have a wedding on the snow in my future?? hehe.. i guess it's too early for me to think about that hehe..

14.2.2009

happy valentines today?? SUPPOSED to be..
took about 1hour++ to go ss2 from taylors for dinner..

when i just came down from friend's car.. my parents say they are reaching soon.. so at the end i went home without getting into the restaurant.. funny?? nah.. sad..

this make me recalled back the bad memories i had in band.. dont get me wrong.. i had these bad memorise is because of my own family problems.. nothing related to my fellow band members..

when i went to any performance or outing last time, i had to worried about many things.. i can say, most of my outings in secondary school weren't 100% enjoyable.. because everytime i would definitely get scolded before i went out or maybe when i came back.. and when i was outside with friends, i have to look at the clock all the time.. worrying whether i could get home on time..

why?? i really cant control everything in the world.. sometimes it's out of my control.. why always is my fault??

**anyway i do admit that sometimes is my fault but not always**

and now im in college.. i thought things will change.. however, it remains the same..

i actually felt very left out in college because everytime they went out i also couldnt join them.. and finally, today is my first time goin out with my college friends.. and at the end??

haha.. i think i wrote too many sad things in the blog edi.. next time i should write about some happy incidents.. hehe..

my first time..

today is the first time im taking bus ALONE.. sounds unbelievable right?? almost 18 edi, now only the first time i take bus alone..

the story goes like that..

as usual, my friend gave me a last min notice that he cant fetch me home today.. and i dont dare to ask my parents last min to fetch me again.. as they are edi quite pissed off with my friend who always gave late notice.. and always cant fetch me home.. what's the point of paying u 100 bucks per month and u dont fetch me home..( sorry my friend, if u are reading this post.. i really have to say that)

so i decided to..

take public transport home..

it's my first time.. so when most of them in the bus are half- sleeping, im the only one who is awake.. because i felt it very adventurous..

actually i dont really know when to go down the bus.. just guessing..

the bus finally stopped at kelana jaya.. and i have no choice.. have to take taxi home ALONE..

this is the first time i take taxi alone again after that terrifying incident that happened to me during form 3..

finally, after about 1 hour.. i reached home..

today is my first lesson to learn to be an INDEPENDENT girl.. i have stepped out my first step.. hooray.. hehe..

changing....

when i was a band member in CHS, i was so afriad to have a post.. i just wanted to be an ordinary band member.. i did not want to take up any responsibity.. such a coward person i was( or maybe i am)..

but now, i think im changing.. since i stepped into taylor's college, i joined as many clubs as i can.. furthermore, i try to be part of the committee instead of just a member.. to my secondary schoolmates ( especially my bandmates) who are reading, shocked huh?? because im definitely not that kind of person.. why?? i think im just starting to accept the fact that im goin to USA in 2 years time.. in order to survive in US, i know.. i have to change..

first of all, i seriously have to improve my english.. sentences like 'no la, got mer??, i dunno wo..' should be avoided.. then, i have to learn to be more outspoken, more sociable, more independent and lots more.. i cant be the small little flower that always protected by my friends and family anymore..

so hopefully, i can achieve my 2009's target.. USA, here i come....

BIRTHDAY SHOUTOUT!!

*HAPPY BIRTHDAY*

to

my blog!!

u are born on the 7th february 2009..